How To Make People Like You - By Doing Less!

Being likeable - that's a trait pretty much everyone wants. The problem is people do too much to try and achieve it!

People try things like telling jokes, overly touchy body language or laughing at everything the other person says.

But people can see straight through this. Think about previous experiences you've where people who are clearly trying to get you to like them have been wayyy over the top.

And what happens? You dislike them more than if they hadn't tried so hard!

I had a similar experience with a guy I would often see on the train to work. We had been reading a similar books, sitting next to each other, so he brought it up and we started engaging in light conversation about the topic we were both interested in.

After that, I seemed to see him more often. But every time I did he would make massive show.

He would lock eye contact with me for way too long - it just felt creepy!

He would touch my arm at every moment he got.

He would say my name before or after every sentence.

It just felt forced - and weird!

We exchanged numbers after the first time we met, and he proceeded to text twenty-six messages in a row within an hour of giving him my number!

When you try too hard to be liked, people notice. But when you try hard to like them, people connect with you.

And how do you do this? It's something you were never taught in school, but you do it everyday.

You listen.

We were given 2 ears and one mouth for a reason. So we can listen twice as much as we talk.

Now you're probably thinking "What's he on about, I listen every time I have a conversation!"

But, do you?

Next time you're having a conversation, try this - think about whether you're actually listening, or just thinking about what to say next.

You'll be shocked at the result - I know I was!

More often than not we are preparing what we want to say next rather than genuinely listening.

So, how do you solve this? Simply listen. Intently and actively.

Listen to every single word they're saying, and don't focus on anything else. Listen to how they feel when they talk, what emotions are they portraying?

Then ask questions. It'll be a lot easier to think of questions when you're genuinely interested.

Listen to what they are saying and feel their emotions. Then reply with empathy. You'll be shocked how much of a connection you can build by doing just this,

Then, if you do think they need advice, reply with empathy first then offer advice.

Try actively listening to people you come in contact with for a week and see what happens. I promise it'll improve your relationships, and who knows, you might even learn something new...